Anisa Varasteh

On loss, longing, and the unexpected pathways to erotic aliveness Recently, I have been moving through grief. Things have slowed down—naturally. What is unfolding in my homeland, Iran, has opened something deeper in me. Old wounds, and perhaps older griefs. The grief of distance. The grief of not having been able to return for 23 years. The grief of witnessing from afar. And yet, alongside this, something else has been happening. Over the past year, as I’ve reconnected with Persian culture...

One of the most common concerns people bring to therapy is this: “Nothing is really wrong in our relationship… but something feels missing.” They still love each other. They respect each other. They are committed to the life they are building together. And yet, somewhere along the way, desire has quietly faded. There has been no dramatic rupture. No betrayal. No obvious crisis. Just the slow, almost invisible shift from lovers to partners managing life together. Many couples assume the issue...

It’s That You Don’t Want This Sex. Low desire is one of the most common concerns I hear in my clinical practice. And almost always, people arrive carrying one of two harmful explanations. The first is: “You’re doing something wrong.” So you’re given more tools. More techniques. More videos. More frameworks. How to touch better. How to turn each other on. How to be more exciting or seductive. And underneath all of it is this message: You’re not trying hard enough. You’ve become...